As I rock my baby to sleep tonight I am tempted...
Tempted to let him nurse even though I know he's not hungry.
Tempted to let him over eat because I know the nursing will knock him out. I know that he's fussy because he's so tired but just doesn't want to sleep.
My husband seems to have a magic technique because my son will lay on his chest and be asleep within minutes. Me on the other hand he will want to nurse if I put him anywhere near my breast...so I am tempted to take the easy way out so I can get a little me time.
I had all these ideas lined up before I had the baby, no he would not nurse himself to sleep every night because I don't want him to associate eating with sleeping. Or the "itis" as we call it...having a heavy meal and then thinking you must take a nap. Yes, I know I sound a little crazy, I mean we are talking about a baby and he likes the comfort of the sucking action hough getting the milk is a nice payoff. Still I just don't want to instill that in him..but I am so tempted.
I always said I wouldn't let him sleep in my bed or just pull out the breast to feed him and then fall back asleep all exposed...it always drove me crazy when my sister who was probably exhausted ( I realize that now) did that. And so far I haven't done the leave out the breast thing but I do let him fall asleep in my bed after his early morning feeding many times. I have been warned though not to make it a habit or he may never leave my bed. Secretly that is fine with me...I love my little man so much but I am sure as time goes on I would prefer he slept in his crib/bed.
So I don't give in, I try to rock him to sleep and when he starts to get droosy I lay him in his bassinet and walk out the room and check back in 15 mins...and wouldn't you know that after a little bit of fussiness he is fast asleep and I feel like I have stuck to my principles...tonight at least.
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
HOLIDAY Wrap Up
Before I move on with 2011 here is my My holiday wrap -
December was my last month of maternity leave and my first month (really) out of the 6 week haze that comes after giving birth. So the month started off with a bang. I went to a cloth diapering workshop which was cool...Ben was good and sat through most of the workshop. Before our big christmas getaway we worked on closing on the our new home, but was postponed until the end of the month because of hang ups with the title company.
I attend my office christmas party sans baby, which was nice but I had to buy a new dress which was a little depressing. However, Ben was good during the whole shopping trip and was even kind enough to fall asleep so I could go in the dressing room and try dresses on...best baby ever!
The office party was nice everyone asked about the baby and how I was feeling and if I was ready to come back to work. Then the Monday after the party I took Ben in the office for my coworkers to meet him and eveyone oooed and ahhed and that was nice and I discussed with my boss about returning to work part-time during the exclusively breast-feeding period...she agreed to this arrangement in the short-term.
Then on Dece 18 we flew out of the our local airport to Trinidad and then to Tobago...It was a big family vacation. My mom met us there and so did 2 of my aunts and a bunch of my cousins. There were about 18 of us in total we rented this awesome guest house with a pool. The kids basically spent the whole vacation in the pool. And my aunts, my mom and my grandmother spent the whole time spoiling the kids, especially Ben.
Let's not discuss the reasons this was an awesome trip... I got to read a book ( the guest house had a mini library)...I mean I got hours of reading in. The Help by Kathryn Stockett is a great book if anyone is interested. I got moments alone with the hubs because my cousin would take the baby for moments on end and Ben slept great he would go down at 8pm, wake at 3pm to eat, back to sleep and then back up at 8 to play...He took two naps a day and enjoyed all the attention he got. Icing on the cake I got to go the beach twice and ate tons of great food.
Of course it all ended too soon, and we were headed back home. After getting stuck in the airport for 10 hrs because the flight back was cancelled so we got rerouted from Houston to Miami in order to get back home and then spent a night in janitor's closet of a hotel room...all part of the experience I guess.
Then back home, where we closed on the house we wanted the same day we arrived back and then moved the following weekend. We spent New Year's eve moving ( the hubs did all the heavy lifting...I kidd u not) and then going to bed at 10pm we were so tired and then brunch by a coworker the next day...Sigh...hectic...hectic month but so worth it.
December was my last month of maternity leave and my first month (really) out of the 6 week haze that comes after giving birth. So the month started off with a bang. I went to a cloth diapering workshop which was cool...Ben was good and sat through most of the workshop. Before our big christmas getaway we worked on closing on the our new home, but was postponed until the end of the month because of hang ups with the title company.
I attend my office christmas party sans baby, which was nice but I had to buy a new dress which was a little depressing. However, Ben was good during the whole shopping trip and was even kind enough to fall asleep so I could go in the dressing room and try dresses on...best baby ever!
The office party was nice everyone asked about the baby and how I was feeling and if I was ready to come back to work. Then the Monday after the party I took Ben in the office for my coworkers to meet him and eveyone oooed and ahhed and that was nice and I discussed with my boss about returning to work part-time during the exclusively breast-feeding period...she agreed to this arrangement in the short-term.
Then on Dece 18 we flew out of the our local airport to Trinidad and then to Tobago...It was a big family vacation. My mom met us there and so did 2 of my aunts and a bunch of my cousins. There were about 18 of us in total we rented this awesome guest house with a pool. The kids basically spent the whole vacation in the pool. And my aunts, my mom and my grandmother spent the whole time spoiling the kids, especially Ben.
Let's not discuss the reasons this was an awesome trip... I got to read a book ( the guest house had a mini library)...I mean I got hours of reading in. The Help by Kathryn Stockett is a great book if anyone is interested. I got moments alone with the hubs because my cousin would take the baby for moments on end and Ben slept great he would go down at 8pm, wake at 3pm to eat, back to sleep and then back up at 8 to play...He took two naps a day and enjoyed all the attention he got. Icing on the cake I got to go the beach twice and ate tons of great food.
Of course it all ended too soon, and we were headed back home. After getting stuck in the airport for 10 hrs because the flight back was cancelled so we got rerouted from Houston to Miami in order to get back home and then spent a night in janitor's closet of a hotel room...all part of the experience I guess.
Then back home, where we closed on the house we wanted the same day we arrived back and then moved the following weekend. We spent New Year's eve moving ( the hubs did all the heavy lifting...I kidd u not) and then going to bed at 10pm we were so tired and then brunch by a coworker the next day...Sigh...hectic...hectic month but so worth it.
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Name Change
Maybe you noticed...maybe you didn't...
Who know's but I changed the name of the blog...since I am all about Ben and the family...I figure it was applicable. My goal is to post more often this year...We shall see...
Who know's but I changed the name of the blog...since I am all about Ben and the family...I figure it was applicable. My goal is to post more often this year...We shall see...
Friday, January 14, 2011
Best Christmas Gift ever
Even though we were away for Christmas; the hubs family gave a ton of Christmas gifts to the boys. When we returned from vacation I picked them up. It turns out Ben got a lot of learning toys which is great because while I had the basics a bouncer, a car seat, a jogging stroller, and tons of clothes etc. he had no toys to really play with and entertain himself besides one activity mat. I spent most of the first 3 months of his life reading to him, singing to him and entertaining him ( talk about exhausting at times but so worth it).
Once we opened up all the presents, we decided to try out his toy and put him down for tummy time. Oh the smiles, laughs and cooing that came from my little butterball...None of the usual grunting and then crying. He spent almost 10 mins on his tummy and though I haven't gotten a repeat in that length of tummy time...he absolutely adores his fisher price crawl along snail. Great Gift....
He was mesmerized!
Once we opened up all the presents, we decided to try out his toy and put him down for tummy time. Oh the smiles, laughs and cooing that came from my little butterball...None of the usual grunting and then crying. He spent almost 10 mins on his tummy and though I haven't gotten a repeat in that length of tummy time...he absolutely adores his fisher price crawl along snail. Great Gift....
He was mesmerized!
Thursday, January 13, 2011
little things
One of the best things about having my little guy is watching him grow and change daily...
He used to not make a sound when he laughed just open his mouth wide and eyes smiling. Now he has a little muffled laugh sound that comes out when he laughs.
My other favorite little thing is his little hand goes up when ever he's nursing to hold my hand and then his other hand gets tucked on his side but in a push away motion as "if just in case someone tries to come and take my milk...I am ready"
It's the little things like that I miss as I sit at my desk all day wondering what he's doing and if he's having fun.
Today he was so tied he slept through most of the get ready for daycare process...but I hate when he wakes up at daycare because I think that's really jolting for him.
Humm to work or not to work...I keep thinking I will quit when my part-time stint is expired but then there are minutes when I think I can do this...I missed working and using my brain analytically...but those moments are always fleeting. what's a mom to do...
He used to not make a sound when he laughed just open his mouth wide and eyes smiling. Now he has a little muffled laugh sound that comes out when he laughs.
My other favorite little thing is his little hand goes up when ever he's nursing to hold my hand and then his other hand gets tucked on his side but in a push away motion as "if just in case someone tries to come and take my milk...I am ready"
It's the little things like that I miss as I sit at my desk all day wondering what he's doing and if he's having fun.
Today he was so tied he slept through most of the get ready for daycare process...but I hate when he wakes up at daycare because I think that's really jolting for him.
Humm to work or not to work...I keep thinking I will quit when my part-time stint is expired but then there are minutes when I think I can do this...I missed working and using my brain analytically...but those moments are always fleeting. what's a mom to do...
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
One of the hardest things ever
Daycare - well except for labor and delivery but those are short.
Last week I dropped Ben off at daycare for the first time. It took hubby and I forever to get childcare for Ben. We knew I had to return to work for 30 days or forfeit any maternity benefits I received but we didn't really know anyone that was available to watch Ben. So we prayed about it long and hard and wouldn't you know 3 days before I am to return to work the perosn my hubby mentors mentioned that his mother runs a nice, small, neat at home daycare. So we checked it out and it seems ok and Ben warmed up to the care provider right way. So we decided to go with her. She has a total of 5 kids( 1 infant and 4 toddlers) and one part time infant and then she added Ben as another part-time infant. Apparently it truely is a blessing because most daycare's don't do part-time.
The first day of dropping Ben off I was a mess...from the time I started to get him dressed to go the tears came and wouldn't stop until after I was half way to work. I just felt so bad, and he had no idea what was going on. All i wanted to do was crawl back into bed with him and quit my job. Even now, I want to quick. I only scheduled to work from 7am -1pm but it seems so long. And dropping him off is the hardest part. Some days I wake him up so he can see and spend 30 mins with his dad and I before he just gets dropped off. And that way he doesn't wake up in a strange place. The only problem is on those days he doesn't go back to sleep until I pick him up. He will fight sleep all morning.
I can't judge anyone who works or stays home. I just don't understand how people do it...everyday dropping him off is hard and the Monday after the weekend is the worse because it's like starting the process all of over again. And yes I know like anything he will adapt and so will I. I know that but emotionally the last two weeks have been draining. At the same time staying home and not bring in any income is just not an option, even if I stayed home I would have to bring him half my current salary...
It's just so much to think about...I would love to hear how other moms made it through. And what were your deciding factors that led you to quit if you did or not if you didn't?
Last week I dropped Ben off at daycare for the first time. It took hubby and I forever to get childcare for Ben. We knew I had to return to work for 30 days or forfeit any maternity benefits I received but we didn't really know anyone that was available to watch Ben. So we prayed about it long and hard and wouldn't you know 3 days before I am to return to work the perosn my hubby mentors mentioned that his mother runs a nice, small, neat at home daycare. So we checked it out and it seems ok and Ben warmed up to the care provider right way. So we decided to go with her. She has a total of 5 kids( 1 infant and 4 toddlers) and one part time infant and then she added Ben as another part-time infant. Apparently it truely is a blessing because most daycare's don't do part-time.
The first day of dropping Ben off I was a mess...from the time I started to get him dressed to go the tears came and wouldn't stop until after I was half way to work. I just felt so bad, and he had no idea what was going on. All i wanted to do was crawl back into bed with him and quit my job. Even now, I want to quick. I only scheduled to work from 7am -1pm but it seems so long. And dropping him off is the hardest part. Some days I wake him up so he can see and spend 30 mins with his dad and I before he just gets dropped off. And that way he doesn't wake up in a strange place. The only problem is on those days he doesn't go back to sleep until I pick him up. He will fight sleep all morning.
I can't judge anyone who works or stays home. I just don't understand how people do it...everyday dropping him off is hard and the Monday after the weekend is the worse because it's like starting the process all of over again. And yes I know like anything he will adapt and so will I. I know that but emotionally the last two weeks have been draining. At the same time staying home and not bring in any income is just not an option, even if I stayed home I would have to bring him half my current salary...
It's just so much to think about...I would love to hear how other moms made it through. And what were your deciding factors that led you to quit if you did or not if you didn't?
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
3 Months
My dearest Benji,
Last week Friday, you completed 3 months of life. And what a month you have had!
During this past month you have started reaching for items waved in front of your little face. You also constantly reach for my face and hold my hand with your little hand while nursing. I love when you reach out your little hand and the brightness in your eyes as day by day you become more and more alert of your surrounding and the people in your life.
During this last month we have had some really fun times. You took your first international trip to the Caribbean and were the best baby on the plane. You slept the whole time during the hour layover in Newark and then fell asleep an hour into our 5 hour flight. You did awesome and when you weren’t sleeping you were looking around and wondering who all the new faces were.
Turns out Ben that you are an island baby just like your mommy! You basked in the island warmth, you seemed to really enjoy no socks and no shoes and shorts all the time. While on vacation you got to meet a bunch of your cousins, aunties and uncles. We wanted to take you for your first sea bath but decided against after you cried when we put your feet in the pool.
So now my dear child you have been to your mother’s home land and saw the place where mommy and daddy almost got married a year before you visited.
You were a trooper as we attempted to return back to the US and got stuck in the airport for 6 hours trying to talk to a Continental agent. Not fun but you were again the best baby ever as you slept half the time and chilled the remainder of the time. Your Grammy was able to get us on her flight back to Miami, and again you slept the whole flight, which I was grateful for but also surprised. Then you spent the night in a studio hotel room on a chair. It’s a good thing you are still so little because that room was barely big enough for the 3 of us. Of course you slept the night away and were ready to play the next morning as mommy and daddy had to take separate flights to the DMV. You were the picture of perfection on the 3 hour flight back to the DM; SO much so even the flight attendants in business class remarked that you never once cried and were a blast to have in-flight…awe Ben you are the greatest by far.
Also, during month 3, mommy and daddy moved into a new house where you will be able to have your own room, a yard to play in and a playroom to keep your toys
However, with all the joys of month 3, also came some serious sorrows. Mommy had to return to work, albeit part time and you had to head to your first week of daycare. Don’t worry my darling Mommy is trying to figure out a way to be able to stay home with you or lower her part-time hours but for now you are in daycare and while you seem to enjoy the daycare…I know you would prefer to have mommy and daddy home with you.
Well my son, you are growing well and people are constantly remarking about how happy and content you are. I only prayer that feeling of comfort you enjoy can last as long as possible the world is a rough place but mommy and daddy are trying let you enjoy your innocence as long as possible.
We love you…Mommy
Last week Friday, you completed 3 months of life. And what a month you have had!
During this past month you have started reaching for items waved in front of your little face. You also constantly reach for my face and hold my hand with your little hand while nursing. I love when you reach out your little hand and the brightness in your eyes as day by day you become more and more alert of your surrounding and the people in your life.
During this last month we have had some really fun times. You took your first international trip to the Caribbean and were the best baby on the plane. You slept the whole time during the hour layover in Newark and then fell asleep an hour into our 5 hour flight. You did awesome and when you weren’t sleeping you were looking around and wondering who all the new faces were.
Turns out Ben that you are an island baby just like your mommy! You basked in the island warmth, you seemed to really enjoy no socks and no shoes and shorts all the time. While on vacation you got to meet a bunch of your cousins, aunties and uncles. We wanted to take you for your first sea bath but decided against after you cried when we put your feet in the pool.
So now my dear child you have been to your mother’s home land and saw the place where mommy and daddy almost got married a year before you visited.
You were a trooper as we attempted to return back to the US and got stuck in the airport for 6 hours trying to talk to a Continental agent. Not fun but you were again the best baby ever as you slept half the time and chilled the remainder of the time. Your Grammy was able to get us on her flight back to Miami, and again you slept the whole flight, which I was grateful for but also surprised. Then you spent the night in a studio hotel room on a chair. It’s a good thing you are still so little because that room was barely big enough for the 3 of us. Of course you slept the night away and were ready to play the next morning as mommy and daddy had to take separate flights to the DMV. You were the picture of perfection on the 3 hour flight back to the DM; SO much so even the flight attendants in business class remarked that you never once cried and were a blast to have in-flight…awe Ben you are the greatest by far.
Also, during month 3, mommy and daddy moved into a new house where you will be able to have your own room, a yard to play in and a playroom to keep your toys
However, with all the joys of month 3, also came some serious sorrows. Mommy had to return to work, albeit part time and you had to head to your first week of daycare. Don’t worry my darling Mommy is trying to figure out a way to be able to stay home with you or lower her part-time hours but for now you are in daycare and while you seem to enjoy the daycare…I know you would prefer to have mommy and daddy home with you.
Well my son, you are growing well and people are constantly remarking about how happy and content you are. I only prayer that feeling of comfort you enjoy can last as long as possible the world is a rough place but mommy and daddy are trying let you enjoy your innocence as long as possible.
We love you…Mommy
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