Mother to mother

I hit M on my cell phone for Mommy and she answered, in her typical way.

Hi Mommy, how are you? What are you doing?

Nothing she replid, just having dinner with your step dad.

Oh I said, are you busy?

Not for you, this was her usual counter she always made time to talk if I seemed like I wanted to talk.

Ok, I said well are you in a seperate room,

No she replied but I am going to one now.

You should probably sit down I said,

She chuckled, should I be?

Yes, I said, and started crying, I am pregnant I blurted out.

She sighed, which isn't really the reaction I expected

And said ok, well when did you find out.

I sobbed my way through telling her I had just found out.

I was 7 weeks and four days pregnant, that I saw the baby and it was tiny. I also told her the ultrasound tech informed me that my uterus was tilted back. I sobbed while telling her we hadn't planned or intended to have a baby; we had said we would wait at least 3 years before even discussing it. I was 7 weeks and a few days that means I got pregnant the first or second time we had sex.

I was floored... I mean I never really planned for a baby. Never thought it would happen to me... wasn't even sure I was mother material.

My mother was very kind and understanding. She explained that a baby is a blessing and that most people feel overwhelmed and feel like they are not sure they could take on the responsibility, she said that was only normal. She said it was a miracle that I even got pregnant because I had a tilted uterus along with my abnormal cycle.

I listened and all her points were right... A baby was a blessing and I knew it but it was just overwhelming being pregnant, not being where I thought I would be in my life and not sure what kind of mom I would really be. I guess she could sense my hesitation, because she threw in that if I got rid of the baby I would always wonder what the baby would look like and who it would be like. She let me know it would be difficult but I had good support and was not alone.

By the time I got to yoga...I felt a little bit and realized, whatever the case, I was pregnant and nothing I could do was going to change that. I called my girlfriend to let her know and then told my yoga instructor so he could give me adjustments for the positions we did in class.

it was a crazy...never could I have imagined that I would ever get pregnant.